


Under the cherry tree

by Aamu16



Series: Under the cherry trees [1]
Category: Saiyuki, Saiyuki Gaiden
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, Sane! Tensei Saitei, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aamu16/pseuds/Aamu16
Summary: Kanzeon didn’t have the heart to erase his memories, so she temporally sealed them; the Seiten Taisei would make sure they wouldn’t stay that way for long.She was right.





	Under the cherry tree

 

Kanzeon didn’t have the heart to erase his memories, so she temporally sealed them; the Seiten Taisei would make sure they wouldn’t stay that way for long.

She was right.

Son Goku was the Seiten Taisei, and the Seiten Taisei was Son Goku; while the weaker personality slept Seiten merged what wasn't already part of Goku with the naive boy. Together they would be able to protect their dear ones when they arrived. From that moment onwards no one would be able to separate their personaly.

.

When Goku wakes up, he has heavy shackles on his arms and legs, he remembers little by little.

First was the golden of the sun rising, the golden color resembles to something very dear... hair, long and sparkling; a mouth that held a deep scowl but will look unnatural if it tried to smile at the same time. Then in the sunset when the sky painted itself in different colors, he recognizes the deep royal purple, that dearest person’s face becomes whole.

He weeps for a week before even trying to unravel the reason behind his tears, it feels like his head will be splitted in two, so he stops… 'til the sun rises again in the horizon.

It takes him a week to remember, at first it was just a name and a face, _Konzen Douji_  is the man with gentle eyes and golden hair like the sun, deep purple eyes and a scowl almost most of the time (though he doesn't know why he knows that).

After two weeks Goku remembers how he met Konzen and why his heart clenches, Konzen named him and took care of him, Konzen smiled gently to him and wasn’t afraid of his limiter coming off; still there was something breathtaking sad in his smile bathed in golden light.

It takes him a month to remember the promise Konzen made him.

_Next time, I promise I’ll be the one to reach for you. I’ll definitely reach for you._

After that, the part that was off, covered in darkness came out, ugly and painful enough to drive him mad comes to live at its full capacity. He curses Li-Touten’s name and very existence, he curses Heavens ‘til his voice is hoarse, he curses the gods who killed his beloved sun, his dearest in all existence.

He curses, again and again.

Then he remembers the names of those that lowly existence named as Li-Touten called _pests_.

First was a man with glasses and a very nice smile, sometimes frightening but never any less than kind to him, dark brown locks that reached his shoulders, all messy and funny to be around; violet eyes that could have been as beautiful as Konzen but as unkempt as he was it all went to waste.

_Please call me Ten-chan_ ♡ _._

The second name, _Field Marshal Tenpou_ , _Ten-chan_. He was something similar to a reeeeally nice uncle (Ten-chan taught him about family), and he listened to him.

Also, Ten-chan loved being in his library; surrounded by books.

Goku remembers reading children’s books, as Ten-chan called them, about heroes who saved the day and justice prevailing; they were wrong. There was no hero to call, no hero to save Konzen or Ten-chan… eh? How did he know that Ten-chan wasn’t alive?

Lin-Touten's voice comes to his mind again, had a lot of fun hitting Konzen in the floor while repeating that they were _trash_ and _pests_ and that it was their fault that he lost valuables _assets_ , like that soldier that cut Ten-chan and spilled his guts on the floor. Li-Touten laughed as he told Konzen how Ten-chan had crawled like a worm through half hallway trying to get to them.

Ten-chan’s smile, through a half-cracked door while he was running to his death with a sword, creeps into his mind and new tears for the new discovered loss of a loved one settle at the pit of his stomach.

He feels the sorrow of losing a person too close to his heart all over again. Goku thinks that, maybe, he doesn't want to remember anymore.

.

It’s been three months ‘till a new blurry face appears into his head. Goku does and does not want to know about him.

The curiosity killed the cat.

His skin was tanned like his, and he wore clothes as black as his shining and spiky hair, a mark in his forehead defined him as a god even though he drove himself as a human would, as if his life was ephemeral like the cherry blossom from the Lower World. His smile was broad and cheerful, his eyes weren't a deep royal violet like Konzen or a simple violet as Ten-chan’s, they were more a mistier and lighter but violet anyway, he always had a cigarette in his mouth or a cup of sake in his hand. Goku remembers just one occassion he didn't, the night before his death.

Goku remembers first the good things —as usual— like he liked fishing, just like Konzen liked lining up the seal’s stamp in the paper with the borders —he always was a little bit to neat—, or like Ten-chan’s passion for burying himself into books —quite literally—. He remembers how he covered him when he was off exploring the palaces of Heavens.

_He’s my secret son_ ♡ _._

He was _General Kenren_ , _Ken-niichan_.

Ken-niichan liked the cherry blossoms, but he liked the Lower World’s cherry blossoms better; so they made a promise, a promise that had been left unfulfilled.

_We will always be by your side._ That was Ten-chan’s promise.

_Depending on the situation, we might have to act separately. But even if that happens, let’s meet under the cherry blossoms in the Mortal World for sure next time._ That was the promise that everyone agreed to.

The promise he wanted to cherish in his chest.

The promise that wasn’t fulfilled, but Goku -Seiten Taisei- wanted to believe in, even now.

Li-Touten’s voice is a knife penetrating his ears even now, he complained about the loss of a doctor that made monsters he called _Nataku_ , as if he was an object.

Li-Touten saying that Ken-niichan had been crushed and eaten by one of those beasts.

Ken-niichan’s death hurts as bad as it can because Goku feels he has lost a big brother, he hates how affectionate they all were in his memories calling Konzen ‘dad’.

_Nice catch, Konzen!! That’s our daddy!!_

He hates how happy he was when Ken-niichan and Ten-chan convinced Konzen that the Human World’s cherry blossoms were way prettier than Heavens because their way of life was different.

He hates the words that made him wanted to see them as well -he hates all those moments because he knows they will never return and the thirst is worse when you know there had been water; just like the lack of freedom dooms him to envy every single living creature he sees throw the bars of his cell-.

_…I see, that’s something I’d like to see._

Konzen words make his heart squeeze even now, trapped and away of them. He remembers having felt just a little bit lonely that evening, someone was missing; for once the name came before the face of his last loss, his only friend and Li-Touten’s ‘son’… _Nataku._

The memories about Nataku come like a waterfall, fast and unstoppable, bathing him with enough force to leave Goku breathless and bend his knees. He didn’t have time to mourn Ken-niichan’s death properly like he had with Ten-chan’s and Konzen’s (even if he thinks that he would never mourn them enough).

He curses the day Li-Touten ordered him to kill Goku.

_Goku… not there… over here. See… the tree over there…—at the top, there’s a… bird’s nest… Can you see it?_

Nataku’s last words make all the pieces come down and fit in together was a puzzle, his memories come out was a river following to the sea. Goku screams and weeps, hates and loves with the force of a typhoon.

He loved them so much and hated the Heaven so much -and he still does-!

But Li-Touten is a special case, Goku loathes him, despises him from the bottom of his heart, hates him with the same passion he loves Konzen.

Konzen was his sun, his _dad_ , he remembers Konzen hanging on a rope and his bleeding, trembling hand when he hugged him; Goku remembers how scared he had been when Konzen didn't got to the stairs, Ken-niichan saved him and he was able to be hugged once more.

He remembers the pinky promise they made just before the Heaven became his personal Hell.

_Don’t ever give up._

Goku remembers everything with the clarity of the midday sun in a clear summer day.

.

Goku -Seiten Taisei- has been remembering and spinning their memories, he has inspected them closely and he has been trying to count the years, every spring a mark, somewhen in the 100th spring a golden little bird comes inside the cave. The Seiten Taisei recognizes Konzen’s soul within the little creature.

It dies in the winter.

He screams Konzen’s name to the Heavens and curses Kanzeon for the first time. How can someone who was supposed to incarnate mercy be so cruel?

He won’t forgive her either, as she didn’t move a finger to help them and even tried to take away his memories. Goku realizes that he can only trust himself and his loved ones.

Goku really hopes that none of them come to him in such an ephemeral existence again, his heart won’t stand see Konzen die a third time.

.

In the 500th spring he hears footsteps, they are not-so-heavy and somehow familiar.

"Hey, are you the one who's been calling me?"

Goku twists so fast he can hear his spine cracking in protest, but he couldn’t care less. His sun has come for him, Konzen fulfilled his promise.

The tears don’t stop as he sees the reincarnated form of his golden one.

“I knew you would come.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing a series of AUs for Saiyuki with this fic's name. Some are related others are not, I will warn in the notes.


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